Fell all the way down for him

Fell all the way down for him

Looking at the city ,I felt the need to get out of this apartment . I could feel all those judging eyes on me , telling me how bad I should feel right now . Just because I fell in love ..with him . I fell all the way down for him and I regret it deeply.

What can I do now? Nothing .. I could try something , but deep down in my soul and heart I know I won’t forget his breath on my neck , nor I forget those fingers in my hair . When I flash back then , I feel what I need to feel .. the need to have him. That need is so obsessing, hurting every bone in my body. I don’t know how many of you felt that, nor I know if this will last long, the only thing I know right know I won’t forget him. Seeking his arms in the dark night to catch me, so I can feel the warmth, the safety .I  seek his eyes, which looked at me every time he noticed a bit change in my mood.

Even if I try to keep him close, I know that if he want’s he will leave me now... Because he made it very clear that he is not into those long lasting relationship, but who am I kidding nor was I. My longest relationship was one month, and we stayed together just because we were roommates and we didn’t want to search for another apartment. So romantic, right?

I lost everything that I was trying to keep till the last breathing day I have. I lost control of my life, of myself because I fell for him..

And the stupid part isn’t that .. it’s that I never heard him say, that he needs me .. even if it’s just for now.